Mom is cooking. I’m sitting down with my little brother and my little sister. Were waiting for father to get home. Me and my brother and sister went up stairs. 30 minutes later mom says family….. dinner. We all going rushing down, we all give father a hug. Grandma sits down as we all sit down. Father says lets start eating. So we all serve our selves and we start eating. There are birds outside singing and it sounds nice. It is getting a little darker as if it is about to rain. Grandma says out loud who wants bread. So she starts passing bread out. All you hear is forks and spoons and knives hitting against plates. I’m eating very fast because I am very hungry. If you tried my moms food you would be eating fast to. I look up for just a minute and mom is finished with her food. Mom starts to feed the horse while the horse was making noise because he is hungry. My little brother tells mom when he finishes if he could play with his toys she says yes. Mom says how was work hunny, pops says it was good.
We called the dog fluffy. He came running as he put his paw on moms lap. My brother Jorge was praying so he could get his toy. My sister Alma was telling mom to feed the dog so the could stop barking. So mom gave him some bread and some water. I tell grandma to give me some more bread so she cuts me a big piece and passes it to me. I tell my sister alma to stop screaming at the dog at just eat. Then my little brother Jorge finished his food and said could I have some dissert and mom said go head. So then Jorge gets some of moms famous blue berry pie. Alma is eating some salad with some dressing. Mom poor’s us all some apple juice. After we are all finished eating and we start eating our pie we start talking about life. Then out of no ware a big thunder sound makes noise like when my stomach was growling. Then it starts to rain. It is poring and mom puts the plants out side.
Father takes the horse to the barn and puts some hay out for the house. Then we continue to talk. Father tells me how was school son we and my little brother said good. The I say he was talking to me and my little brother says ok. So the he goes are you doing good and I said ok. Then Pops asked Jorge and Jorge said awesome. The mom said how was your food I said it was great. Pops said the same thing and Alma said dialyses. Them my mom asked her mom and she said it was good thank you. The it got late and we all went to bed.
"The diary of Anne Frank"
15 years ago
a luis great work a few spellnd erorrs but you can fix them it was an alright story you could of did better than that one.
ReplyDeleteit was good but of the spelling erorrs just like tony said
ReplyDeleteI loved your story you its really nice but check your spelling that way readers could understand it better.
ReplyDelete*Dalia*
nice story some speeling errors to fix
ReplyDeleteI reallylike that u named the family.
ReplyDeleteBut, you need to fix some spelling errors
Nice, it was a good story but i agree with the others you do have a few spelling errors. so check up on them. Oh and check on the way your telling the story, fix the words so that they fit in right with the point of view you chosed otherwise than nice story
ReplyDeletegOOD WORK A F3W MiSS3D
ReplyDeleteSP3LL3D 3RRORS BUT OTH3R
THAN THAT 3XCiTiN STORy.!
wow keep it up lus god job liked the story
ReplyDelete